Saturday, July 31, 2010

... law of the smoke alarm ...

It is by law that any and all fire/smoke alarms must, at least once every other year, go off for no apparent reason - between the hours of 0100 - 0400.

I came across this law at the age of 14.  My family and I had just arrived at RAF Alconbury and were residing in the Billeting on base.  Three nights in a row, yes you did read that correctly, we were awoken by a faulty fire alarm between the legal hours.  On the third night my mother, a very well spoken and politely mannered women, said "stuff it! Stay in bed".  This resulted in the on-base fire department walking into our bedrooms and instructing us to "EVACUATE" (a command even they felt a little silly about after the two nights prior).  As you can imagine the incident simply turned into a little joke about our typical military moves and the adventures we go through with them.

Last night, as one should have expected being that we have resided in our home for a year and a half now, our FireEx i5000 smoke alarms abiding by the law and at 0336 proceeded to fill our humble abode with their 85 decibels at 10 feet "chirping" (read - deafening screech that had all the neighborhood dogs up and howling).  The culprit that lead the pack of six ionized detecting alarms is mounted perfectly between the children's bedrooms.  Said alarm was first heard through the baby call monitor placed directly next to my ear on my bedside table.  The baby call monitor, in my wake of delirious, was quickly switched off, which led to no avail over the alarming noise, and was quickly thrown under the covers.  The husband was already on his feet and running for the door in his boxer briefs, heading towards the ADT control panel.  **FAIL - this would be the second time that an alarm has sounded in our castle and the husband has sprinted directly to the door... which would most likely be the point of entry of an intruder... more practice to come.**  When the ADT panel gave us no relief, he then headed downstairs to check all alarms.  Meanwhile, I had grabbed a pair of pyjama bottoms and was wafting the air directly below the closest smoke alarm in my path, go me!  Soon after (although it seemed like an eternity) Jacob had found the culprit alarm outside of the children's rooms and had ripped it from the ceiling and removed all battery power.  A call to ADT quickly reminded us that they only respond when the ADT fire/carbon monoxide detector goes off... PLUS!  At least we didn't have to worry about a fire truck showing up.  Jacob then combed the house for a 9V battery, as the other 5 alarms "chirped" to alert us to their fallen comrade.  Thirty minutes later we were nestled in bed, and the neighborhood dogs has ceased their incessant howling.  However, soon after we realized Danica had awoken in the madness, resulting in a nights stay from the momma in the Princess' bedroom.  She finally fell back asleep just after 0600, and Owen woke up at a whopping 0645.  By 0900 I was a zombie and went to my husband and savior whom took over parenting duties until 1200, allowing this monster to sleep for an additional 3 hours.  The added nap did very little to the progress of the day.  While I realize that FireEx may one day save our lives, I can't help but feeling a little anger towards them as I look at the pile of laundry I have waiting for me tomorrow.

  Sometime this afternoon my mum called me via skype and I shared our adventure with her.  To which she laughed, and then shared their similar experience from last weekend.  My sister, her boyfriend, and my nephew were visiting for my nephew's birthday.  Around 0200, fire alarms sounded!  John (my wonderful step dad) jumped out of bed - in his briefs - men really need a pair of sweats handy on the bedside table!  My mum, because we all respond so properly to fire alarms, laid in bed and covered her head with the comforter... Ringo and Max (the dogs) followed suit and remained snug.  My sister sprinted out of the bedroom and (poor thing) chased John around the house trying to find the sounding alarm.  At this point David (the boyfriend) popped his head up the stairs and asked what was going on, "fire alarm is going off", "okay"... and he headed back to bed (clearly he fits right in with this family).  Shortly after John had the alarm silenced, Zoe went back to bed, and the next day they all went to the store to purchase new batteries.

  While in California, this only happened in the wee hours of the morning too, which resulted in my mum and brother frantically going through the typical routine.  It also happened to us twice in our home in Utah, which resulted in Jacob calling the fire department on the second occasion and being told "probably just the battery".  So I ask myself...
A. Why don't we check our smoke detectors regularly.
B. Why does it seems as though batteries only die out in the early hours of the morning.
C. Why, if our detectors are hard wired and the batteries are simply back up, is it necessary for the "malfunction".
D.  Why do all fire alarm companies publish that the detectors will "chirp" intermittently to alert you to a low battery life, however it would seem from experience that the actual "alert" is a full on alarm!

  The law of smoke alarms.  Can't live with them, can't live without them.

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